Friday, May 29, 2015

She's Got Light, Alright. : That Annoying Girl That Signs Off: "Light and Love"- Yup. Her. (Me)

Things that have happened in my life can be described anywhere on the spectrum of "weird." In childhood, teen years, college, and even now as a mother of three I have floated around, bouncing through stages of deep esoteric beliefs, yogic obsession, writing manias, classic immersion in Christianity and now more the simple surrender that "Anything is possible."

In fact, there were a few times in January and February of this year that I literally told my husband and best friends: "If an alien, Jesus, and my deceased grandmother came down and walked into this cafe, I'd honestly NOT be surprised."

I also entertained the idea that I was in full psychosis and would be writing poetry and letters from a psychiatric ward.

Luckily, I've come to realize and accept that the world is full of miracles, strange and beautiful things. I assure you I am not insane. Then there are extremely grounded quiet times where I wished for some "sign" to validate that I'm bumping and fumbling along on the right path.

My best friends are awesome. They laugh with me. One is my "Go-to" old soul who always adds levity and reason. Another, has witnessed it all and believes but grounds me all the time. She recently texted me about a trip we are planning: "No hippie shit, I mean it." 

I won't get into the debates of creation, existence, and the many pools of thought that swirl around such things as what I'm about to show you. I'm just open. I figure if Einstein, Rumi, Thoreau, Anais Nin, Mother Teresa, The Kabbala, the Babylonians, Incas, Native Americans, and countless others bought into the idea of energy, love and the genuine benevolence that exists and can be tapped into either through God, nature, poetry, another person, meditation, prayer, etc....I'm willing to stay open to possibility.

This weekend I worked with a Reiki healer and his insights were uncanny. Seriously. I can't process how he knew so much and to the last details. One of the more "mass-palatible" things he said was that my aura is electric, vibrant indigo/blue. I dare not share too much more here.

He had expressed that "I'm not alone" and I'm bathed in spiritual light. (I joked that THIS must be why past friends and my sister always complained that : "Lulu NEVER gets caught, hurt, and pushes limits yet survives."

Indeed, I've lived with this sort of reckless abandon and trust that I'll survive. I'm not celebrating it, rather, I'm starting to try and understand it psychologically and with deeper reflection. I'm grateful, that much is certain!

-Spelunking in Australia
-Jumping on the back of a random Italian (Young Man on his) Motorbike in Boston
- Numerous ocean/riptide accidents
- A violent multiple-flip car accident at sixteen, where I ended up under the dashboard of the passengers seat (I was in the backseat behind the driver.)
- An abusive relationship that put me in the hospital a time or two before I "got even and got gone."
- Let's say the entire late nineties.

Experiences I truly don't regret. I learned and evolved with all of it. Not to mention, between my intuitions, perceptions, and knowledge of underage drinking and/or drug use, my children are screwed trying to get anything by me. So there's that.

With my new and recent knowledge of such things, I would have argued with the Reiki Healer that I carried more of a gold/pale yellow color. I feel it and see it most in meditations. I tend to look to debunk and investigate things I can't understand. I'm learning to do this less, but of course I started to do research.

I was just in the city with a friend taking pictures and noticed green orbs or gold/yellow lights in my shots. Huh? Probably light tricks and shadows. NBD.

We took a picture of ourselves at the beach. Selfies, yep. I noticed HUGE light rays, shining on my face in..(wait for it...) Blue and gold and magenta! I brushed it off as being the sunlight even though it was not behind us. (Picture not included here.) 

So I looked back. Feverishly, zooming in on my iPhone of all my pictures. On the left is a picture of me and a girlfriend on a train platform.

That's when I noticed a recurring theme: Blue rays on me or green orbs! Still not convinced and feeling my chest tighten because I really can't handle any more "Strange stuff" in my fractured life.

Below are a few of the pictures I found (originals, I could hold in my hands and digital more recent ones) because I was convinced it was ink runs or printing errors. The first is INSIDE, where no sunshine could get to us. The second is on a beach when I was five.

I then remembered a video my daughter took of me shoveling snow off our porch in March, this year. I'd posted it to Facebook and only after someone commented that there "was an orb" in the video, did I even KNOW what an orb was. Ha. So,  I researched and apparently light or sun reflection patterns move only in direct correlation with the camera. Below, the green orb is frenetic and flies out of shot, in opposite direction of camera. Interesting. I don't know what it means, but it's pretty cool.

These pictures span over a my entire life, I still intend to look through ALL of them.
Two days ago, I was sitting outside with my husband and took some pictures of a tree in front of our house. I looked at them. BOOM. There was a magenta orb, a smaller green orb and rays.

It's fun. It's fascinating. Maybe it means nothing? Maybe it means everything! I am just grateful, blessed and happy to be me and full of wonder and I intend to keep listening to the whispering hint that there is so much more to the very least, I have some great stories and even more writing material for my novel.

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