Sunday, May 17, 2015

My Memory defined. (excerpts from 2002) "I Feel It All. The Wings Are Wide."

"I feel it all." was my soul song for a long time.

The song is a perfect definition of my memory and feelings. Below is the excerpt from some of my writing describing my ability to remember and feel everything.

My mind has this special power. It has an enormous capacity for memories, all kinds of them. I can remember the most unusual things. The types of things no one else remembers even having been participant in them. I liken it, my memory regressions to a conveyor belt of loosely-tied, unorganized, fully engaging memories. 

They move slowly but with such vivid color without adherence to any type of appropriateness or timetable. The ride along the clinging steel-scrapping chugging metal without breaks, without any possible regard for their ramifications.

Randomly thrown and plotted in a erratic line of inefficiency. My own heart and soul recounts each one of them with vigor, with pure vicarious depth. I  have a way of finding myself back inside the time-capsule of this fantasy world of past. There is a song by Feist called: “So much past in my present”.  There are moments in life that I feel no other song could describe me more clearly, more concisely.

With this in my mind, I'm so happy my daughter likes to create memories. Her specific brand is to sing together. A loving pass-time for both of us. Today (May 17th, 2015) Thirteen years and one day short of the anniversary of my father's death, she can FEEL that I'm down. She chose to sing a song with me. The song is more in tune, and appropriate for how our life is now:

"I've got you, and you've got me." My favorite line that she sings:

So, for now, on a sad weekend, my nine year old reminds me that we've got each other. All of us. 
That's a beautiful song and sentiment. 

Comforts come from the strangest places.  I'll feel it and take it. 

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