Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Signs or the Subconscious? Why ask? I'm paying attention either way! You should too.

Today I am surging and bubbling over with love. Maybe it's because it's sunny and Spring is hinting her imminent arrival or that six years ago, I went into labor with my middle daughter? No need to figure it out because I'm just beaming.

"Cheery" has been a difficult emotion to come by lately. So, while meditating, I sent it out ten-fold. Love is even infused in all the words you're about to read.

I am a huge sentimentalist when it comes to signs. I love reading into events. Like finding a strange book that picked me and spoke directly to my quiet contemplations. Or maybe I see a teenager step off an elevator with a shirt that says: "Just do it." and those little symbolic three words push me.

My middle child came home with this little trinket a month ago. A RAKU pottery angel. No two are alike as they are dipped into an outdoor kiln at 2000 degrees.This process creates vivid flashes of color ranging from purples, plums & reds to oxidized copper & brilliant blue, hallmarks of metallic luster raku glazes. 

Even though I dropped her, she broke in three pieces and was super glued, that had meaning! The amount of "signs" that have scared the sense out of me, my husband, or anyone in my close circles are too many to count. It's been a peculiar winter, but if absolutely nothing else, other than alienating myself, it  has and continues to make for good writing material. (Maybe a sci-fi trilogy?)  

Below, is a picture of a beautiful stone bracelet I bought shortly after my life imploded. I thought it was pretty, and reminded me of the ocean, my father, and was a similar color to Tanzanite (A stone from his birth place that he'd always buy me.) I was meditating one day, and felt full of "energetic force and heat" and shrugged it off, ironically, as "cool" and went on about my day.

Later, I noticed I had a BURN. Literal BURN mark right under the stone. Nothing hurt. No pain. Just, weird. It's still on my wrist. Who knows. Maybe it was merely a hormonal or allergic reaction? Nothing shocks me anymore.

More specifically, in February,  I saw an image of a "Goddess- La Paloma" in lotus pose and something about it took hold of me; I had to have it.

I couldn't explain it, but she calmed me. She is rested on the Aquarius sign, a yin and yang. This year of turmoil has meant a lot to me as far as my father is concerned. So the sheer aesthetic beauty of it, the colors, the relevance to my father's 69th year as a sign of "balance" and her femininity was enough. I made it my screen saver (on the desktop and MacBook.)

There is no way I could have known how personal this painting was in the impulsivity of buying it from Holly Sierra art in New Mexico.

In ten minutes, I fell in love and procured some art that I randomly found online. It is nearly impossible to explain that a stranger (to me) created this Goddess-rendering in March, six years ago, and that it would deeply reflect my life's nuances.

There is zero chance I could have known of the profound meaning it would represent as a calming source during a very unstable time of my life. 

With a nod to my little girl, who isn't so little anymore, I simply say that gratitude is a gift best given forward...

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