Wednesday, February 11, 2015

What happens when you give a POSITIVE thought to a NEGATIVE (at leastright now) person? Um...


Everyone has that friend. The one who is misunderstood as Debbie Downer because she has a filter even smaller than mine, and somehow, is always able to zone in on the negative. After 23 years, I have the inside knowledge that she mostly does it for effect, to play "the part" and well, as she would say: "Whatever works."

Life has delivered her a real sweet cake in the past couple years, so now she has the qualifications AND the permission (she never sought from anyone anyway.) Don't get me wrong. She's fun, we laugh, mostly if she's drunk, but that's dried up. Lately, we just laugh at the heartbreak and hilarity that ensues.

Today, she was actually super chirpy and bright pink. (aura, not skin, or pigs...) I have slept about 6 hours since Saturday, so in delirium I had an idea. I know, I know, that is the beginning sentiment of thoughts that destroy entire empires. Meh. So We did it.

Things of note: She answered every POSITIVE quote from my trinket book titled: "Every cloud has a silver lining." Ironically, enough it's not even uber-positive, but cheeky, and reframing. Yup. She can shit on that Sunshine. Watch.

1. "Have patience and endure: this unhappiness will one day be beneficial."-Ovid
Her response: "Patience is for children." ( sips venti Chai tea casually)

2. "The best way out, is always through."- Robert Frost
Her response: "Its either a train or a light." (Shrugs shoulders)

3."The power of imagination makes us infinite"-John Muir
Her response: "NO! The power of imagination makes us intimate." and "infinite plus one."

4. "Whenever you fall, pick something up." - Oswald Avery
Her response: "Ya, while you're down there, could you...sweet thanks."

5. "Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield."-Price Cobb
Her response: "That's karma, bitches. Don't we know it."

6. "Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway."-Emory Austin
Her response: "What is this?! Sound of Music?!" ( evil cackle)

7. "All that I can. I will"-French proverb
Her response: disdainful, heckling tone: "I'd like to see that."

8. " I think, what has this day brought me? And, what have I given it?"-Henry Moore
Her response: "A hot mess." (in under a second, flatly)

9. "When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum." - Desmond Tutu
Her response: "That's when you hire a cleaning lady."

10. "Every cloud has a silver lining"- P.T Barnum

She responds: "Fuck your silver lining, alright I'm out. Smoke me." (fart) ((just kidding, Julia doesn't fart, she doesn't have bowls. Just roses))
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