DUFF : (re-named) Delightfully underestimated fortuitous friend
My thumbs are already twitching to an inversion.
Bullies suck. Mean girls still exist, everywhere. No, seriously, still, in our thirties and forties, chicks be like (that's my feigned street cred) : "Really? You weren't invited to the Vanhusen party? Weird. Everyone was there." Or...my latest favorite in email : in her best WWJD tone, she couldn't help herself, and leaked deep, mean, judgy false humility.
Here's the deal, girls (and boys): you, and ONLY YOU give meaning to what others say, tweet, post or do. Dead serious. Humor me, pan out 5, 10, 20 years. Do these people matter at all? When you're more comfortable in your skin, your face clears, and your parents aren't in control....WHO are you? Or rather, HOW do you want to affect people?
I have this motto: I steep in it. Everyday, all day: "Lift, don't level, a human spirit." I ask myself: "Did that person feel better or worse after leaving my presence?"
Who am I? Nobody....just like you, but by who's standards? Right now, I'm a pariah in my town, for a red-hot minute. What sucks for haters is that I'm good hearted, loving, funny (most of the time) and genuinely interested in seeing people find happiness. I'm a mom, and a sister, former-bullied and former-mean girl too. Swipe the score board clean and instead write: "Who cares who's winning? Who is brave enough to be AUTHENTIC? Who has the she-balls to stick up for integrity and self-acceptance in spite of the bullshit code set by your peers?
Bring it. Bring love. Be someone who spreads positivity, because it feels good and follows you forward"
|Image from Gecko&Fly|
I've never met a non-sociopath that FEELS GOOD AFTER BEING MEAN, CUTTING or DISMISSIVE. Maybe they feel "better than" because their self-esteem needs it, or the control they lack at home motivates them to have it in the hallways, or office buildings, or play grounds.
Here's my challenge to YOU.
"Just because someone says/posts/spreads it; even if for a second you THINK it: it doesn't make it true!"
Shit, I know your truth. You, right now, are innately valuable, unique, and so much more than the sum total of crap that happens in high school.
You'll look at pictures and your self-loathing, or if you are one of them and have grown up... you'll laugh at how WRONG and embarrassingly pompous you were. If not, you are convicting yourself to a life of lies, flimsy thrones and high-horses that rock both ways. Be warned.
Surround yourself with a non-permeable bubble of self-love. An invisible armor that says: "Nope. Thanks, here's your f'ing two cents back. " and then send a positive thought in the air for them. That energy bounces back 10 fold. TRUST ME.
As you were. GO see "THE DUFF". Invite people you like, who lift you up.
Be brave, be authentic and be able to laugh at it all.
You're amazing, glowing in the light of growth and struggle. Even if not fully bloomed, SHIMMER!