Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Quickening- Part_4: Poems , perfectly-timed words, and pep talks.

Are you paying attention? 

You  know those moments when you are randomly thinking of someone, and they call? Or the song you have in your head pops on the XM radio in the car? Most shrug it off to coincidence. Not me, not anymore. Based on the amount of "eerie" things that have happened in my life so far, I've always believed in signs. Ask anyone who suffered dating me, they know. I could pin an entire night on a strange happening, or a song to mean impending doom. Ha. The amount of unexplainable things that's occurred in the past three months have me sold...and intrigued and cautiously excited. All things, every tiny stitch in the universe, is ever changing and perfectly in flux to weave a stream of energy that you either have the capacity to tap into, or call coincidence. There's no "right" or "wrong".....Just perspective, really. 

The empirical data:  I'm expecting this lists grows....
  • I was in an accident in the summer of 1993, where I fractured my skull. (15yrs old)
  • My grandmother, died in a tragic car accident in 1962, on MY exact birthday. (15 years prior)
  • On 1/12/15 - The below writing was found*, dated: (exactly 15 years prior
  • A date, so far, that has "appeared" important on at least 4 different events. ( January 12 x 4
  • Today, February 14th, 2015, Valentines day, and also the day my father would have turned.                         (69- the universal sign for balance, ying and yang) 
I would go into far more detail of the interesting time my husband coined: "The quickening.", but I'm currently working on a fiction novel, and details are in the words living and building there. I WILL say: the events have caused some to question my sanity, my science/math-based binary-thinking husband to cry like a 7 year old, colors, inexplicable energies, my uncovered predictions (I'm happy, and very sad about) as well as this wacky and ever-growing list of things that keep happening and my ability to feel other people. Ha, of course I , you, can feel people. I mean, FEEL their emotions. My favorite mentionable is "Annie Lenox did this." and ".....And there it is." No matter how strange, or embarrassing said things are to talk about, we laugh. I laugh, out loud, a lot, at me, this journey and with all who are along for the ride. Any who.....that's for another time, in another medium.

 *  So, the I  writing found...( It was a Monday in January, 2015. The Monday following a very strange 1:40am...we'll call it an.... event- "The quickening-Part 3" that challenged everything my husband and I believed was possible. This Monday needed to be "event-free".

An email from me at 19yrs old, sent from Australia to him. (pep talk) 

I went looking for incense to meditate, a good friend urged I take a "time-out" day, I hired a nanny to watch my 3 kids all day and set out to regroup. That day, I found a huge binder of my dads in an old chest. it was labeled with my name. Despite my best efforts to take a break from this stuff, WHO WOULDN'T open it? So open it I did, and Pandora's(lulu's) box clew ajar. My old poetry, emails, correspondence between us, bills, etc.  It was fascinating to see "through his eyes, as a father of a teenager" what HE discerned worthy of being printed and bound for posterity, or reference. ( Other writing examples I found that day, are (HERE.)

The below was printed YELLOW PAPER. ( along with tons of other funny, insightful poems, and thoughts, and teasing emails I had sent from when I was living in Sydney. When I initially found all of them, that morning, I snapped pictures of them to FWD on to a few close friends who were aware of this strange transformation happening in my world. Below is the original image: (note: no date, I don't even think I noticed it. I cropped it because, content and zooming in, was more important - If you look closely, though, you can see a tiny hook of the "J".

After being at a local cafe to write, a friend I'd sent these pictures to asked me if I'd written "Food for Thought" because she loved it! I responded. "Yes, wait. Shit, I don't know, I'll google, maybe I just sent to my dad, but I think I wrote it. I recognize the words, and remember it. " (It was inspired by the song "Sunscreen".

So, casually, I began to copy and paste lines into google. Every time I did, I got "Author unknown" or "~a friend" or " Unknown". My heart started beating out of my chest. I think I was maybe excited if they were my words, but also rational enough, or doubtful enough to assume not. Measured curiosity. I looked for an hour. I even found a thread asking for the author. The one thing, I couldn't find anything before 2000. So I packed up, raced home and ran into the house and pulled the binder open. I looked like a madwoman to the nanny, standing casually in the kitchen, eating an apple. We looked together, as I explained it to her. she gasped. SCREAMED!!! I had said "I'm look for a year before 2000. " She pointed a the yellow paper in the binder, top right hand corner, in my father's handwriting. JANUARY 12, 2000.  So....That happened. 

 I have to legally say, I can not PROVE that I had any part of this poem beyond literally typing it into a document and sending to him, nor do I care. No where on the paper did I "sign" my name or claim it. It has been chopped, added-to, put on inspirational posters.  None-the-less, I'm interested, not in the author,

Food for Thought 

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they ae meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, your roommate neighbor, professor, long lost friend, a lover, a family member or even a complete stranger, who , when you lock eyes with them, you know that every moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you at the time they may seem horrible painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. 

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of "good" or "bad" luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable bu dull and utterly pointless. 

The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience, they are the ones who create who you are Even the a experiences can be learned from...those lessons are the hardestand probably the most important ones. 

IF someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious of who you open your heart to. 
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would never seen or felt without them. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sighs high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Period. 

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself., for if you don;t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in your either. You can make your life anything you wish. 

Create your own life. Then go and live it. 
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