Monday, February 9, 2015

Interviewing? Here's some tips on the "Greatest WEAKNESS" question...(note: Sarcasm)

Question: "What would you your greatest weakness?

I protest this question, its too broad? Can I answer I can't run a 4-40, my back bends are pretty square? Categorically? Can I make it an existential thing and say that I have a daughter and I am a woman, and my father's name has died with him, wait, that's irrelevant. Well, my weakness is only the manifested fear of my greatest possibility of emotional triumph failed, right? Maybe my weakness is not knowing what existential really means? Do you? Really? What's it all mean? Okay fine...

Note, yes again: I detest, and I don't say this lightly, FALSE HUMILITY. It is the subject and sheer fun of all my traits to point at someone and laugh. (Then, go send them love and light in meditation)

1. " I work too hard."
2. "I care too much"
3. "I am too hard on myself, and push my limits for minimal recognition."
4. "I abandon all other things in life, except my job."
5. "I pay too much attention to detail, and do it on multiple projects, with limited supervision"
6. "I put others before myself too often"
7. "Sometimes, Ive been told, I close new business too I'm working on pacing myself.
8. "I don't keep up with all my sales goals because I stop paying attention once I triple them."
9. " I have no problem pointing my finger at the weak cog in the wheel or giving all credit to superiors."
10. "I take it personally when someone takes more than the allotted amount of sick days."

Here are some REAL ones I think I should offer: (You're welcome, my humility is just that. I'm an asshole sometimes. So there.)

1. I can't spell. Truly, its uncanny, my knowledge of the English language (and others) surpasses the norm, but I cant put the stupid f'in' letters in proper order.

2. I do more work in less time, and use the superfluous minutes to check off items on my personal to-do list.

3. I am impatient and actually start to tune people out when they bore me. Sometimes, I will even stop them from talking and say: "really? does this matter?" (not a crowd-pleaser)

4. I love my child more than this job, so I will put her first almost EVERY time the two are in competition.

5. I picture random men naked, on any given day, and that makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

6. I smell everything including the coffee you had this morning, and the onions you had last night.

7. I have worked for 8 years in corporate advertising/marketing and have only turned in 3 expense reports ( because they make me feel guilty) - 100% TRUE.

8. I cant think of any more weaknesses, that's a weakness.

Go be honest, see what happens. Okay, don't...but at least you will smile inside next time you are asked that question.
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